Sunday, February 17, 2013

What's been going on?

Surviving: Landon is approaching five months.  The last three and a half months have been some of the longest of my life. There is just no way to describe how high-maintenance he is. And how sleep deprived I am.  None of the other four, not even Carson, were as difficult as babies as he is. I thought I understood babies.  I've had five.  I have managed to get all of them sleeping well and into a routine by four months.  Not Landon.  It's all due to gas, but you probably won't believe that.  I have tried EVERYTHING.  I can only pray that he is an easy toddler.  Now, when you see him, he will flash you a huge adorable grin and possibly even woo you with his sweet voice.  It's all a show, folks.  I promise!  Due to this current status, I haven't had much energy to put towards anything else. That's okay for awhile.  But it is beginning to drag me down. Wear me out. Take it's toll.  I miss having a somewhat tidy home.  I miss doing other things that give me satisfaction, such as cooking for fun, scrapbooking, writing, reading....Bible study!  I miss friends.  All of my relationships are suffering.

MOPS: I still love it. I am still committed to MOPS and passionate about reaching moms.  But, as is everything else, my MOPS work is suffering.  I am barely present to support the local team.  I haven't been able to really plunge into developing relationships as I would like.

Health: Being almost 30 pounds overweight and stuck in maternity clothes for months has had its own effect on my emotional well-being. That, combined with my usual wintertime issues, following Christmas I struggled to eat healthy and couldn't get motivated to work out.  With so much to be done that never gets done, how could I take the time to exercise? I was on a downward spiral.

CrossFit: This is the glimmer of light in this tunnel. Thanks to a friend who was brave enough to do it first and then encouraged me to try it. The truth is, all the stuff at home will never get done.  I can leave the house and go to CrossFit for an hour and forget all the stuff I left behind.  When I am at CrossFit, I get an hour free from thinking about anything else because I am so focused on getting though a really tough workout.  My brain gets a rest.  I fight through and leave full of adrenaline and satisfied because I accomplished one thing that day.  I got one step closer to being healthy.  And, many days, the high of CrossFit is what gives me the energy to accomplish just a few more tasks.  And, even though I started out supremely out of shape, every time we come back to a lift or exercise that we haven't done for a week or so, it's so exciting to find I can do it better or heavier.  I am excited to be getting stronger, as well as leaner.  Thankfully, with CrossFit and getting back to Paleo, I have lost 10 pounds over the last month.  I am getting closer to fitting my regular clothes again.

So, there you have it.  That's what's been going on.  I am here, praying ceaselessly for baby to get over his gas issues and sleep like a good boy.  And counting down the many, many, many days until summer. If I could have one wish granted to me, I think it would be to live somewhere else from Jan-April.  Somewhere warm and sunny, of course!