Saturday, October 8, 2011

I blog, therefore I am.

This post is dedicated to my friend Heather, with love.

I am so perfect. I mean, you probably already know this from reading the amazing blog entries I post everyday, highlighting the amazing things I do in my home, with my children and husband, as well as all of my volunteer activities.

Because I am such a perfect parent, my children are nothing if not perfect! They are completely respectful to me all the time and cheerfully take care of their household responsibilities before asking me if there is anything else they can do to help. They never bicker or whine, heavens no! I never hear crying and the word bored is not even in their vocabularies.

My home is a sanctuary of peace and order. It is clean, man is it clean! You will not find a handprint anywhere, nor a speck of dust. Cobwebs and spiders crawling about are unheard of. My floors are spotless and all bed linens cleaned weekly. My home always smells delightful.

We grow, raise, harvest, pasture, and butcher all our food. We do not consume anything processed, not a darn thing! You will never catch my children eating candy! I bake fresh bread daily and have a 6 month meal planner in which not a single meal is repeated. My husband and children love everything I prepare for them and smile ever so sweetly, thanking me for the meals I prepare. My kitchen is my haven.

My home does keep me busy, but I would be nothing without my outside volunteer activities. They complete me. And my children, since they are so amazing, must participate in every sport and afterschool enrichment activity offered. They are active at church and in various scouting organizations, as well as the music and dance lessons they participate in.

I know you already knew how amazing I am. But maybe you should tell your friends. Because I love my eleven followers, I do. But I can't help but feel that even more people could benefit from reading my blog.


Ivymamma said...

Love it! And love that I can spot two MOPS bags! I think you should turn this into an I Spy picture!

Heather Charton said...

Yes. The perfection. So obvious! Oh blogger mom-whAt would I so without you to complete my life with your creative suggestions and quirky anticdotes!? ;) wink, wink. Cheers to the totally, hopelessly, imperfect, loving, giving it her all mom!
Love ya!

Carol said...

why have you stolen the story of my life and made it your own? I guess this is a classic case of who is really listening??? Or is it the 'ol projecting the life you really want trick? Hmm, I may try this. Ridiculously well written and entertaing as always. What I really like about your blogs is that you have a brutal honesty about you that is very raw and endearing. I missed it in this one! ;)Loved the sarcasm though. I will be over soon to eat your fresh baked bread off your sparkling clean floors.

arica said...

i so needed to read this today!!!