So I came to the realization this week that I was really struggling....depression type stuff. There are many ways I have found to describe the way I feel. I feel like I'm in a valley. I feel like I'm in a deep, dark pit. I feel like I'm trudging through deep snow and getting nowhere. I also took inventory of the last several years and realized that this is not something new to me. But it is new that I am actually addressing it. I know that there are things that I can do to help me get through this tough time of year. As of now, I do not have a vacation to look forward to, but I am looking forward to the Ladies Retreat towards the end of February. I am also now intentionally scheduling lots of things where I am around other people. I can't let myself stay home without visitors more than one day in a row. I am almost scared to be alone because then sadness is quick to fill the void. I also got a "happy" light from Costco, so we'll see if that helps.
I believe that Satan uses my tendency towards depression and isolation to really get to me! Satan will do whatever he can to stop the work God is doing in and through me!
Although it's been happening for awhile now, I am still surprised every time God speaks to me so clearly. I am so thankful that He has not given up on me! Today he said "Turn to me and be saved." Isaiah 45:22. Oswald Chambers pointed out in his daily devotion, "The very thing we look for, we shall find if we concentrate on Him. We get preoccupied and sulky with God, while all the time He is saying-- 'Look up and be saved.' The difficulties and trials...all vanish when we look to God.
"Rouse yourself up and look to God. Build your hope on Him. No matter if there are a hundred and one things that press, resolutely exclude them all and look to Him. 'Look unto Me,' and salvation is, the moment you look."